


Misfortune

by Areo_ian, FridayNightWrites, LadiSaiyan, Lady_Red, rogue_1102, Ruthlesscupcake



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: April Fools' Day, F/M, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:08:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23363731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Areo_ian/pseuds/Areo_ian, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FridayNightWrites/pseuds/FridayNightWrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadiSaiyan/pseuds/LadiSaiyan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Red/pseuds/Lady_Red, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogue_1102/pseuds/rogue_1102, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruthlesscupcake/pseuds/Ruthlesscupcake
Summary: Vegeta is having a very unlucky week. Pranks and hoaxes seem to be happening from left and right, but some of these hoaxes end up being dangerous.
Relationships: Bulma Briefs/Vegeta
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	Misfortune

**Author's Note:**

> Another Friday Night Writes with some amazing and creative writers. Let us know what you think about this April Fools’ Day fic. 
> 
> Thank you Blackswan22 for beta-ing! 
> 
> Check out stories from Lady_Red, Rogue_1102, RuthlessCupcake, LadiSaiyan and Blackswan22 for more fun!

It happened… again. Vegeta was at the gym, doing his usual routine on the horizontal bar when, suddenly, one of the legs broke off without warning, dangerously slanting to the side when he had just made a midair flip. With one hand, he grabbed the bar and quickly swung himself around to release the bar, landing hard on his feet. The sound of the horizontal bar crashing behind him echoed loudly throughout the room, and he heard his trainer, Piccolo, shout his name.

“Hey! Are you okay?” Piccolo jogged over to him.

Vegeta glanced at him as he internal fumed, “Yeah… fine.”

“What the hell happened?” Piccolo said as he walked over to the now turned over bars.

Vegeta shrugged, “Fuck if I know.”

“Damn.” Piccolo said as he ran off. “I’m getting maintenance, go relax.” 

Vegeta rubbed a hand down his face. Things like this were happening to him lately this whole week. He couldn’t explain what this was, but he would call it unlucky. But now things were escalating and he didn’t know why.

“Pooh.. And here I thought you would at least break a leg this time.”

Vegeta whirled at the sultry voice to find a beautiful woman with blue hair and eyes, wearing a greek, almost see-through gown of gold. 

“Who the fuck are you?” Vegeta glared at the woman after he had a moment to recover from her appearance.

She smirked, “I’m Bulma, the Goddess of Luck and Fortune, and I’m here to curse you.”

“Goddess?  _ Tsh.”  _ He gave her a look over. “No such things exist.”

“Are you blind! How do you explain this?” The deity sauntered around him letting the enticing gold shimmer and blinding divine light speak for her. 

“That pageantry means nothing. If you are the one who has been orchestrating these sneak attacks. You will stop, now!”

“Stop?” She threw her head back in a fit of laughter. “I can’t  _ stop _ a curse once it’s enacted. Only once I get what I want will it  _ stop _ .”

“I don’t believe in such mortal things, you can go play your little games somewhere else, vile creature.” He grumbled as he turned around and walked away when he suddenly tripped. Looking down, he realized his shoelaces had tied themselves to one another.

“No one calls Bulma, Goddess of Luck and Fortune, a vile creature and lives to see another day. You could’ve had it all, little earthling, but you had to fuck it all up like the  _ badman  _ that you are.” She was now floating towards him. If there ever was fury incarnated, he is sure she would be it. Lightning seemed to be stirring in her eyes. Once she was close to him, he could feel an electric wave coming off of her.

“Here’s the thing: do what I say and the next seven days will be a breeze. Turn me away and call me a foul name again and I’ll make every single day a nightmare. Trust me, by the end of your first day I would have fucked up your life so bad, you’ll be begging me for mercy. So what’s it’s gonna be, hottie?”

Contemplating his life on the floor, he realized the goddess wasn’t playing, so he asked, “What do I have to do?”

The smile that appeared on her face was almost sinister. He had to swallow his dread as she helped him up. She placed her hand on his and said, “oh, that’s easy. Give me one week of Earth's pleasures and I’ll stop the curse. Show me a good time and I’ll set you free.”

Vegeta regarded her with narrowed eyes, his wary and untrusting demeanor coming on fully.  _ Show her a good time? What was that supposed to mean?  _ He crossed his arms and met her gaze. "I'm not sure what you're expecting, but if it means no more tricks or bullshit...then fine." His lip turned up in a half snarl, defending his inner turmoil. She was beautiful, but even he was smart enough to know that beautiful things had the sharpest thorns. 

The Goddess flipped her hair with her hand almost triumphantly, her smirk settling into an almost, dare he say, seductive smile. Was that what she was getting at? He could still feel the energy flowing off her, coming at him in strangely pulsating waves. 

"I knew you'd see it my way." She chirped, her bright aqua eyes twinkling. "Now, do tell me, what are we going to do, badman?" 

He hadn't gotten that far. Not yet. Vegeta glanced down at his shoes and noted that his laces had been untied, thankfully. He took a cautious step toward her, half expecting to walk into some invisible wall or another form of trickery at the whim of the beautiful Goddess. He cleared his throat. "Tch. Perhaps...we should go somewhere other than the gym?" 

Bulma let out an airy giggle. "Now we're talking!" 

She snapped her fingers and he was blinded by a bright light. When he blinked, he saw that she had changed into a pink summer dress and he looked down at himself to see that his clothing had also changed from his gym wear to khaki pants and a navy button up shirt. 

She bounded up to him and hooked her arms around his. “Well, lead the way.”

Vegeta glanced at her for a moment, suddenly realizing that perhaps he wasn’t dreaming and he nodded at the beautiful woman. With her by his side, he left the gym and glanced around the scenery, trying to think quickly of what they could do, “Uh… do you like food?” He winced at his own question.

“Why, yes! You should know that I like strawberries!” She said with an amused smile. 

“Hn,” he grunted in acknowledgement, and began to walk towards the sidewalk.

“Oh, no, no, no, if we’re going somewhere, we’re going in style,” the woman stopped him and snapped her fingers once more. A red sports car suddenly appeared at the side of the road. She beamed at him, “You drive.”

Vegeta said nothing as she released him and hopped over to the car and turned to look at him expectantly. He sighed as he walked over and opened the door for her. She blew him a kiss while she jumped and Vegeta shut the door, rolling his eyes…. He had seven days left.

Now where the fuck was he even supposed to go? It wasn’t as if he did much besides training and his day job and the occasional job at night.

A good time.. the fuck was that even supposed to mean? If she was a goddess, could she read his mind? Sure as fuck hoped not. He continued to drive down the street. He'd always been alert, had to be in order to survive most of the time. He'd find something if it crossed their path. Fucking strawberries. Probably wouldn't do to just grab some from the store. Wait, strawberries? What the fuck did she need him for if she obviously knew details about life on earth in enough detail to have a favourite fruit? 

She should already know how to have a good time. God fucking damn, it this better not be some post divine breakup bullshit. How did he get into this mess?  _ Bitch should have gotten herself some godly Callboy or something and not a socially secluded hit- _ did he even have to censor his thoughts? Even if she could read them she should already know, right? She'd been fucking up his life thus far, she probably knew everything. So there had to be a reason she had chosen him for this bullshit.

An airy giggle ripped him from his thoughts. Or a haughty cackle, who the fuck knows. Maybe she was a witch, not a goddess.

"If you grip the steering wheel any harder, you're going to rip it apart, badman."

Seven fucking days of this??

Buildings and trees whipped by as he pushed the little red Beemer for all it was worth. It had been a long time since he sat behind the wheel of a car, and the quality engineering put his little hatchback, that he’d had to pawn to pay for gym fees, to shame.

He even managed to forget his co-pilot for a while until she started fiddling with the knobs on the radio, unable to choose what type of music she was willing to listen to whilst he tried to think of something to do.

“Will you cut that out! Just pick a station!”

The self-proclaimed goddess huffed in irritation, and cut her eyes over to his side of the vehicle. Finally, she settled on the most annoying bubble-gum pop station he’d ever heard. The type of music that only brain-addled simpletons or teens going through their first ‘feelings’ listened to.

Vegeta gripped the steering wheel as if it were the only thing anchoring him to this reality and growled deep in his throat.

“So, why me?”

The goddess smirked, a cool and calculated expression on her face.

“Surely you haven’t forgotten your words, not even 3 hours ago, Vegeta?”

This was a trap, clearly. He wracked his brain for anything he could have said to offend an all powerful being.

“Why don’t you remind me…”

The blue lady opened her mouth and, instead of her voice, his own came parroting back at him.

“They say luck be a lady tonight..well, she’s just a cold-hearted bitch and can go fuck herself.”

_Shit!_ _Why the fuck was she listening to him? Not like he was summ-_ He looked at the deity with a piercing glare, unphased by whatever direction the car was going.

“You should watch the road, Vegeta.”

“I doubt the Goddess of Luck and Fortune would let  _ anything _ happen to herself or her assumed puppet.” His voice was as sweet as syrup and his demeanor was uncomfortably casual, making her suspicious.

He let go of the wheel and gave her his full attention. She tightened her arms under her breast and ignored him. He stared at her. She started out the window, trying not to show any hint of nervousness. 

The car weaved around other cars and glided through continuous green lights. A large truck lined up directly in their sights. Bulma grit her teeth. Vegeta put his arms behind his head and leaned back in the driver seat.

“I’m on to you.”

“If you don’t stop the car, we’ll both die!”

“Doubt it.”

“Vegeta!”

“Admit it…  _ He _ put you up to it, didn’t he?”

Lightning and thunder struck and Bulma snapped her fingers. Suddenly, they were no longer on the road. They were in his childhood chambers. 

“You stubborn asshole! Why can’t you ever have any fun?” With each word thunder and lightning hit. He has seen Bulma angry before but this fury she was emitting was glorious. 

“I haven’t been up on this damn pantheon in a long time. You can tell him to go shove it. I’m not coming back and you, sweet little goddess, can go fuck yourself if you think your tricks will make me come crawling back.” The hurt look that flashed across her face would be more believable if his mother wasn’t already the goddess of deceit. He learned a long time ago. Beautiful things hurt you the most.

“Fuck you! I did everything for you, don’t you remember? I am the one that helped you become ‘mortal’. You got to live a life free of responsibilities and I got punished.” He snapped his head at that, he didn’t know she had suffered the consequence of his departure. Before he could think, he spoke. 

“Punished? Don’t make me laugh, woman. What’s your punishment? To cause more mischief?” 

A rock hit his forehead before he saw her retract her arm back. “No asshole! They took away my emotions, my tastebuds! Everything! I can’t enjoy anything anymore. I only get one week every 400 years and this is the first time that I get to feel something, so you owe me big time. Help me feel again, Vegeta. It’s the least you could do for walking away and leaving me on our wedding day.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have been flirting with that riff raff loser!” Vegeta snarled.

“Excuse me! Flirting? Why would I flirt with Yamcha?” Bulma looked at him as if he grew two heads.

“You tell me?” Vegeta crossed his arms over his chest.

“He’s the God of Drink, of course I had to talk to him, you moron! How else was everyone supposed to have fun without a little wine! You’re such an asshole! I can’t believe I ever loved you!” Bulma screeched at him, coming nose to nose to him.

“The feeling is mutual, whore!” He yelled right back.

They stared at each other hard for several seconds before Vegeta fisted her curls and smashed their mouths together in a heated kiss. There was nothing gentle about their kiss as they moaned and tore at each other’s clothing. When they had nothing on left, Bulma shoved him and he landed on the bed, watching as she slowly climbed on top of him, her body womanly and ripe before him. 

“You’re going to make me feel Vegeta, and you’re going to enjoy it.” She snapped her fingers and suddenly his wrists were tied to the headboard with silk scarves. He tugged on them to find that they wouldn’t give under his strength. 

She chuckled, “This is what happens when a mortal messes with a God…. They get fucked.”

Another flick of her finger, and suddenly his mouth was gagged. Vegeta narrowed his eyes in indignation, but could not stop the rush of heat that streaked up his body at her forcefulness. This was new, and unlike the Bulma he remembered from so long ago. She was going to take what she wanted, and damn the consequences.

His erection was throbbing, the cool air of the room heightening every nerve ending to an excruciating point. She stalked up to the head of the bed, and let her tongue trail down his skin, goosebumps and pleasure following in its wake. Her hands groped and scratched, the pain a pleasant distraction from her devious machinations.

Her hot mouth stopped at his chest, a light bite to one of his nipples. He arched into her touch, closing his eyes, and groaned deeply. Suddenly, a sharp contact to his face - the pain from the contact burning down his body. His cheek throbbed and the woman had the nerve to look smug as she grabbed his cock and impaled herself upon. Bulma set a brutal pace, heavily raising and lowering herself while moaning each time she took all of him in. Beneath his gag, Vegeta echoed her moans and strained at the restraints that placed him at her mercy. If only he had his powers back; he’d show that bitch who she was fucking with.

“What’s wrong, little mortal? You’re so  _ weak. _ you can’t handle this pussy anymore?” Each word spoken provokingly as she continued her brutal pace. She dug her nails on his chest,  _ marking _ him. “What’s the matter? You don’t like wearing the mark of being my little whore?”

Vegeta started to feel the buzz of his anger in the pit of his stomach. Fury, anger, pain.. all the emotions he repressed were starting to emerge. 

So the Goddess wanted to feel. 

He’d show her exactly what happens when one messes with the God of Destruction. 

The scarves began to loosen around his wrist. He felt it with each thrust, and was met with more anger and fury. Soon the room was starting to glow and he felt it, that rush of anger. Red aura surrounded him, and Bulma stopped her ministrations. A smirk of satisfaction was on her beautiful face as he quickly turned them around. Soon, it was her wrists that were tied to the bed, followed by each of her ankles. She was spread open for him, a quick look of fear flashed before it was masked behind a face of indifference. 

“Bulma, do you trust me? If you want to really feel what it’s like to get fucked by the God of Destruction, I need you to trust me.” 

Her eyes met his as she nodded yes. He chuckled. 

“No. Nodding won’t help. I need to hear you say it.” 

Her eyes narrowed as she questioned him. 

“What do you want me to say Vegeta?”

He started to slowly caress her legs from her ankles all the way to her slit, slightly playing with her bud as he moved his hand back down. 

“I want you to say ‘Vegeta, please fuck me’.” His fingers lightly touched her skin as they traveled back up her legs. Reaching her thighs, he spread them further to make room for his body. 

“I want you to say ‘Vegeta, I trust you, with my life’.” He bent down and took in her essence. 

Her scent, her pretty pearl, the nectar from her body that he missed so much. He ached.

“Say it, Bulma. And I  _ will _ make you feel.”

She couldn’t feel it, yet. 

But she sensed what she wanted.

What she needed.

What she craved was on the tip of his tongue. 

“Fuck! VEGETA, PLEASE FUCK ME! I TRUST YOU WITH MY VERY LIFE!”

A sadistic low rumble filled the room. “Good girl.” 

He snapped his fingers and everything turned to what it once was; back to what they once were. Both of their clothes were gone. Black silk sheets underneath them. A darkness filled the imperial room with only a fireplace and his burning golden arua for light. 

His muscular form hovered atop hers, teal eyes staring down at her curvy, naked form nestled in the sheets below. A low, satisfied rumble of appreciation came from deep in his chest and he leaned down, taking a pert nipple into his warm mouth. She moaned as he suckled her with hard tugs, swirling his tongue around her beaded areola and he cupped her neglected breast, rolling her nipple with his thumb. 

Bulma’s back arched to get closer to his mouth, her legs wanted to rub together to relieve the pressure, but her bound ankles held her back and her fluids dripped down between her lips, staining the sheets below. 

“Vegeta…” she choked out, her hips undulating in search to be filled inside. His hand glided down her soft belly and over her mound to find her swollen bud, circling around it but never quite touching to prolong her torture. He popped off her breast to leave hot open kisses up her chest to her neck and breathed in her scent deeply as her arousal permeated the air. His finger traced around her wet opening, causing her to buck under his hand and he chuckled.

“So eager,” he whispered against her skin. 

“Pleaaase, I need, oh fuck me Kami.” he slid his finger inside of her chuckling. 

“I’m not Kami, woman, it’s Vegeta. If you’re forgetting my name, maybe I should remind you?” With a snap of his finger she was untied, flipped over on her belly and tied her back up. This time he left her legs unbound.

“I forgot how beautiful this side of you was.” He emphasized his point by spanking her. She couldn’t help but moan at the sensation of his hand hitting her backside. While other people felt humiliated being in a submissive role, she reveled in it. Going for so long without feeling left her starved for touch. 

Vegeta perched her more forward, causing her ass to raise up. Smacking her ass again and then soothing her, he felt her juices slide down her leg. She was ready to take him. Lining up at her entrance, he slid inside inch by inch. Purposely taking his time and causing her to growl. 

“I swear to Kami, if you don’t fil-” Bulma couldn’t finish her sentence as he slid all the way in to hush her. 

Starting to pick up the pace, her moans increased, motivating him to go harder. He moved his hands from her hips. Untying her and perching her on his chest, he wrapped one hand around her neck as he started to thrust harder. 

“Tell me Bulma, do you feel this? Do you feel this cock punishing you for loving me?” Bulma's moans filled the room more, each thrust was met with anger and resentment. This is what he needed: hate. Hate fueled him. Moving his other arm, he started to play with her bud as he squeezed her throat. He whispered in her ear. 

“That’s it, hate me. Turn all that love into hate.” 

The woman had the nerve to laugh at him. Here he was, balls deep and she still had the audacity to laugh at him. 

“Oh Vegeta, if you think hate is what I’m feeling, you’re sadly mistaken.” Instantly, he was thrown back as she strangled him again. 

“You’re still so afraid to  _ feel _ . It’s okay, you want hate and I can’t give you that. I’ll show you what it’s like to be loved, you stupid, stupid  _ man _ .” Suddenly the storm outside the window stopped and the sun started to shine. 

“Vegeta...” The way she said his name caused him to look outside. Impossible. He felt like it had only been 30 minutes since leaving the earth behind. Yet how could he only have one day left with her? 

She released her hands from around his neck and gently placed them on his chest and sat upon her throne. Naked, bare and unrestrained, she stared at him with a sweet smile. The smile he hated. The smile that made her look foreign; not like her. Not the woman that picked on his every nerve, shrieked at his deadly judgments and caused the fire deep in his soul to erupt. That smile caused his heart to burn not with hate, vengeance and anger but with that stupid emotion: love.

He sat up and brought his lips to his. A kiss that made the sun rise and the moon to fall. A kiss that brought his world back to hers and all that he didn’t realize he was missing. 

Breaking the kiss and touching foreheads, their bodies moved in tandem. Out and in. Up and down. Wet flesh and lustful moans filled the cavernous space.

“Vegeta…” 

Through heavy pants, Bulma anchored a hand in his hair; pulling his eyes to hers. “Thank you.” 

Every muscle in her body squeezed life out of him. Her thighs tightened around his hips. Her core twitched around his cock deep inside her. 

“Bulma.” His voice was horse as he remained still. Her body milked his seed from him effortlessly. He pulled her body close to his and nestled his face in her chest. Ashamed to show the reaction his body and his heart had from her.

Moments later, she slept soundly on his chest while he counted the seconds he had left in his home, next to her. Sleep was taking him until a surge of energy, put him on alert.

“Ha ha! I knew it would work.”

With a flick of his wrist, Vegeta had a black silk sheet cover him and Bulma’s still sleeping body.

“Kakarot! What the fuck are you doing here!” He tried to temper his anger.

“I asked Bulma to bring you here.” The untraditional Kaioshin sat on the edge of the bed.

“You didn’t ask. I lost a bet and now we are here.” Bulma replied drozily as she rolled over to a cooler side of the bed and went back to sleep.

“What the- So this is all a game between the two of you?” Vegeta snapped his fingers and was instantly clothed. Bulma, still wrapped in the sheet, dropped to the floor as the rest of the room was suddenly emptied.

“No! Wait. Listen, Vegeta.” Goku stepped in front him. “I tried to get your attention. I tried to wait until you took out all of Ginyu’s forces but we need you.”

“Now is hardly the time to talk about  _ that _ .” Vegeta side eyed Bulma standing up and glaring at him.

“Don't worry, I didn’t come to see Bulma’s saggy boobies-”

“Hey!” Bulma shouted from the other side of the space now back in her divine garments.

Goku smiled at Bulma but held his hands up defensively to Vegeta who was fuming in his face. “Just calm down and listen. The Battle of the Gods is happening soon and we need you.”

“I relinquished my title a long time ago.” Vegeta sneered as he walked away. 

“He’s dead.”

“What?!” Vegeta turned on his heels towards Goku.

“Cabba’s dead. Once word got out he was your successor, powerful beings challenged him from all over. When Tarble showed up, he claimed to be the rightful Saiyan heir to the title and killed Cabba instantly.”

A war waged inside Vegeta. Lighting and flames engulfed him. A roar shook everything around them and uneasy silence followed. A bright blue aura surrounded Vegeta, accompanied by the vestments of the God of Destruction. 

“Take me to him. Now.”


End file.
